By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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I recently read The Art of Racing in the Rain
by Garth Stein for the second time, and liked it just as much as I did the first time. It is a bitter-sweet story that is very well written. If you can't relate to cars or driving at all, it may not be the book for you -- but I'd give it a try in any case because it's about relationships. This book is coming out as movie soon. Bring tissues!
This time as I read it, I had on my couple's therapist hat, and noticed things I see in my office, too. Without giving away the story, here are a few interesting points to think about in relation to your partner and yourself:
-Incredible misses with my partner because I didn't say something I needed to
-A lack of self-care that leads to illness -- or perhaps tremendous fear that prevented healthy action
-Support for and selflessness out of love for my partner
-Family and in-law issues
-Focus and commitment
-Passion and dreams
This story may leave you wondering what your dog thinks of you . . .